The Golden Rule

Overwhelm. Chaos. Control. Spiral. Enough.

These are words that live in our heads. At which point do you shut down?

You have options.

You might even have the answer already.

Most people don’t want someone coming in and throwing their opinions around—they just want to be heard.

My heart attack experience changed everything for me. It reinforced why self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and mindfulness—it’s about listening to your body, trusting your instincts, and demanding to be heard. 

As a healthcare professional, I have been stuck in a dangerous role, ‘conductor of the fix-it train.”

Give me a problem and I’ll give you a solution.

Unless it’s for me…then I’ll analyze until I’m paralyzed and eventually ask ChatGPT to make me a super basic to-do list.

Sometimes, the most beneficial thing we can do is simply ask, ‘How can I support you?’—and then truly listen. For a long time, there was something called the Golden Rule. Remember this? We’re supposed to treat others the way they want to be treated.

I want to challenge this.

Here me out…

Throwing up. Vomiting. Puking….call it what you want.

Some people want their hair held back, their back rubbed, and to be constantly consoled—that’s me. But many others would rather be left completely alone. If I treated everyone the way I want to be treated, I’d make a lot of people very uncomfortable.

This is gross and also quite eye-opening.

That’s why we need to treat others how they want to be treated, not just how we would want. Again, we need to ask others how we can support them. We also need to learn how to find the words to say what we need.

This life has taught me so many things.

I learned the hard way that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. And sometimes, advocating for yourself isn’t just about your emotional well-being—it’s about your life.

So my challenge to you today is this: Don’t wait until burnout, until crisis, or until it’s too late to take care of yourself. Prioritize your health, set boundaries, and advocate fiercely—for yourself, your family, and if you’re in a position to do so, for others who don’t yet have the voice to do it themselves.

When you support others, do it with open ears and an open heart. The best care we can provide is the care that meets people where they are.

Please, please…take care of yourself first.

You cannot give what you don’t have.