Grief: Healing, Eventually…

Grief. Loss. Death. Separation. Termination. The End.

These words are used to describe a loss, and somehow, they often don’t capture the extent of the pain.

Grief is tricky. Grief is patient. Grief will wait for you.

To process grief, you must accept change, which is hard.

Life, as you know it, is different now.

Grief is not always death, but it is most often loss.

Maybe you’ve lost the future you thought you would have. Maybe you’ve been anticipating the death of a loved one or a pet. Maybe you’ve been planning to quit smoking or go on a diet. Your new normal is going to be different, and change requires change.

And change is hard.

How do we get to the next chapter? How do we move forward?

People manage their grief in a variety of different ways. Some are healthy, some not as healthy.

Our bodies search for dopamine to make us feel better. We can find that in food, alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, as well as nature, sunshine, hugs, exercise, meditation, and others.

The only way to get to the other side of grief is to go through it. You can’t avoid it. You can’t go around it. You can’t skip it.

Grief is a process. It’s not linear and can be a very bumpy road. It may be messy and chaotic, rational and balanced, or some combination of both. Regardless of how emotions are channeled, each individual has a unique process.

How you manage your grief may differ depending on the situation. The grief you process when you’ve had time to prepare for a loss is different than the type of grief that happens unexpectedly.

Take care of yourself. Take care of your soul. Be kind to yourself. As a “patience-challenged” human, I am overly qualified to discuss how frustrating the process can be when you try to rush it.

Find your person (or your people) that you can lean on. Have a healthy outlet, and give yourself some grace while you move through your healing. A wound does not typically heal immediately.

Give yourself the time and space to sit in your sadness; share your hurt with someone who will hold space for you.

No Judgement.

No Fixing.

Allow the process to happen, and know that in time, you will heal. You will never return to the way things were. And that’s okay.

Cherish your memories and embrace the change.

Change will happen whether you want it or not.

Heal. Grow. Love. Accept.